My Story
by Moony's gurl
Summary: This is my bio of Remus Lupin's life. PLEASE R&R! I have gotten NO reviews for this story! It's good, I promise! No flames, please!


My Story

My life has been full of dark times and sad moments. There were times I wanted it all to end. There were times when life was just unbearable, when I didn't trust anyone. When I felt nobody would ever understand. But there were times when I was content. This is the document of my life. This is my story.

I was running through the woods at breakneck speed, fleeing from what awaited if I stumbled. I was eight at the time. There were dense woods by our house. The woods were where I resided most of the time. I never anticipated what would come from my refuge. But here I was, running and praying to God that I wouldn't fall. I did.

My life started and ended at the same time right now. My life as a normal person ended, but my life as an outcast began as the werewolf sank its teeth in my left arm. Its claws were flailing, leaving deep gouges in my flesh. I would never be the same again.

Despite how badly I was bleeding, I managed to carry myself home. The look on my mother's face when she saw me confirmed how horrible I looked. She let out a scream that rivaled that of the wolf, and started to weep. She hurried me to St. Mungo's, hoping that they could find a cure.

When the healer led me and my mother to my room, my mother asked question after question regarding if I could ever be normal again. The healer replied to each question with a blunt "no". I was doomed to be a werewolf as well. But, the healer said, they would be able to get rid of those nasty gouges. Woo hoo.

After the healer, well, healed me, I took a look at myself in the mirror. My bright gold eyes and equally gold hair seemed dimmed by the attack. I used to have smooth skin, but now had two long, rigid scars running the length of my face. My arms were cold and clammy from my weak state. There were ugly bags under my eyes that, in time, I realized would never go away. My torture began that night.

At night, the moon was still full, and so I transformed. It was hard, and it hurt. My face elongated as fangs sprouted and hair grew. I was a monster. A horrible, unfeeling monster. And then my mind went with my normal appearance.

The wolf part of me took over. I was bloodthirsty, malicious. And there was nothing I could do about it but just sit back and watch like the frightened child I was.

I watched as if through a glass panel as I ran through the woods. I would never go back to the way I was. I could never be normal again. Fate had dealt a very cruel hand.

When I awoke in the morning, I was a wreck. The bags under my eyes were more pronounced than ever, but my eyes still gleamed with the malice of a wolf. Well, at least my eyes were better. That still couldn't take away the feeling of self hatred I was experiencing now. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have gone into the woods that late at night. I shouldn't have been so trusting of my surroundings. There were a million things I could think of that I shouldn't have done. The trouble is, I did do those things, and now I was left to deal with the consequences.

My mother spent the rest of the month crying her eyes out and checking every spell and potion book she could get her hands on that could help me. After she read what seemed like a library of books, she dismissed the idea of there being anything that could help. I was ashamed of myself. My mother loved me so much and yet I had to go and cause her such pain. And so I retreated to my room. Me, happy go lucky Remus Lupin retreated to my room.

I never left the room except on full moons. My mother brought me food three times a day. Eventually, I even lost track of time. I sat in darkness, pondering dark thoughts and speaking dark words. My skin became white and pasty, my room became a mess. And I didn't care. All my hopes were dashed. I was nothing now but a broken spirit.

All my life I had dreamed of the day I could go to school. I would be head of the class, I would be popular, and I would be like any other normal child. I couldn't go to school anymore. The teachers couldn't risk me hurting someone. The parents wouldn't want their children getting their education with a werewolf. This idea occurred to me as I grew more mature. I read all about my lycanthropy, and all the anti-werewolf laws that went with it. There were so many. So many things I could never do. So much I could never see.

I stayed in my room until my 11th birthday. Something happened then that I would never have expected.

As I sat in my room, brooding on the bad things in my life, something flew into my room. Upon closer inspection it was revealed to be an owl, holding a letter in its beak. It read:

Mr. Remus J. Lupin

1645 Wooden Hollow Ave.

67548

My fingers trembling, I hurriedly opened the letter. I hadn't received any mail in over three years. The insignia on the back showed a crest featuring a badger, a raven, a lion, and a snake. The words below the crest were in Latin. I read the words, desperate to soak in as much of this feeling of excitement as possible. _Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus_. I had seen this crest before, but I couldn't remember where. It was as though a long lost friend was talking to me.

I slowly unfolded the piece of parchment, and read:

Remus J. Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry starting this year. Included are a list of supplies you will need to start school. We hope to see you at King's Cross Station, Platform 9 and three quarters, on September 1st.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

This had to be a trick. I couldn't go to school. It was impossible. But as the list of supplies fell out, my worries drifted away as I looked at the list.

Supplies for year 1 at Hogwarts:

Standard Book of Spells Grade1 Miranda Goshawk

Two pairs of robes (black)

A wand

A 14" cauldron (pewter)

Four vials

You may also bring, if desired, a toad, cat, or owl.

I bolted out of my room like lightning as I rushed to show my mother the note. This had to be the greatest day of my life! I was going to go to school, just like a normal person! As I reached my mother at the table, she looked astonished at the fact that I had come out of my room, but then I showed her the note.

As she read, her eyes filled with tears. Not sad or frustrated tears like usual, but happy tears. When she finished, she gave me the first real smile I had seen out of her in a long time. I returned the grin and ran outside into the sun.

At first, I squinted due to the bright light, I hadn't gone outside in so long. But soon I remembered my friend, the outdoors. I acted like a young child, running and skipping along. I felt the pastiness of my skin fade as the sun caressed my skin, returning my freckles to my nose again. I was home.

I had never been so happy. I smiled all day long. Nothing could lessen my spirits. Outside I stayed for hours, running through the woods and racing the animals like I used to. The woods seemed a lot friendlier during the day. It was so beautiful.

Finally, my mother called me in for dinner as the sun's last rays faded from sight. I ran across the fields, jumping over stumps, racing home. I burst in the door, out of breath and panting. My mother just looked at me and laughed. She laughed, another thing she hadn't done for a while. The best thing was, it was _me_ who had caused that laugh and that smile. Just me.

About a week before I was scheduled to go to Hogwarts, my mother and I went to Diagon Alley to get my school supplies. I hadn't been there in years, but even when I did go there it for trivial matters, like my mother's errands. Now it was different. We were here just for me!

Like a hyper five year old, I excitedly peered into every shop window; every store seemed to contain millions of things I wanted. Dragon claw, a gold set of Gobstones; it all looked like essential school supplies to me. My mother pulled me out of my fantasy world by reminding me that we were here for the items on the list, and just those items. It was fine with me, though. All I could think of was that, in a week, I would be going to greatest wizarding school! Despite my lycanthropy, I would still be going!

As we walked down the streets, we came to our first stop. The store was called Flourish and Blotts, the book store. I had gone here on many occasions to look at the massive collection of books there. I didn't have to look today, though, for my eyes were already set on The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1 by Miranda Goshawk. I hurriedly snatched the book from its shelf, and headed over to the checkout desk. I jammed a fistful of silver sickles into the shopkeeper's hand and then, book tight in hand, my mother and I set off for Olivander's wand shop.

When I walked in, I was instantly surrounded by millions of wand cases, different brands and different sizes. I stared in amazement, and was only brought out of my stupor by Mr. Olivander himself. His eyes were bright silver, and I wished he would look away. His gaze seemed to penetrate into my mind.

"So, first year at school, eh?" the man said to me. I nodded silently. I've always been rather shy around adults.

"Well, I know just what you need!" he said, taking out a wand case and giving me the wand inside it. "Go on, give it a flick!"

I did, and the glass panel in the door broke into millions of tiny glass shards. Mr. Olivander didn't seem to care. He just flicked his wand lazily, muttering "_Reparo!_". The glass instantly fused back together, returning to its place in the window.

"Let's try another one, then." I did. But as soon as I placed the wand in my hand, I started to feel electricity running through my body, a certain warmth that I did not normally feel. This was the one.

"Ah," Mr. Olivander said, "your wand is made of oak, with a core of veela hair. Very excellent choice, young man."

I smiled, proud of myself and my new wand and, still clutching it, went out the door. To exclude every detail of my day, I'll briefly summarize it for you. My mother and I went to the Apothecary to get my cauldron and vials. Then we stopped at Madame Malkin's to get my robes. Then, as a surprise, my mother went away for a little while when I was getting my robes fitted.

She came back grinning with a beautiful brown barn owl with bright yellow eyes. It was hooting at me excitedly from inside its cage, and I relieved my mother of the owl. Its large amber eyes looked at me cautiously, but I reached out and stroked its head with my finger. The owl nipped my finger affectionately, and I grinned. I decided to name her Artemis, after the Greek goddess of wisdom. She certainly looked smart enough.

So, after we had bought all of my supplies we headed to the Leaky Cauldron. I stepped inside the fire, threw the floo powder into the fire, and roared "1645 Wooden Hollow Avenue!". At that moment, I felt myself being thrown forward and rushing home. My mother and I landed in a laughing heap at the foot of our fireplace in our living room. The room was now covered in a light layer of ash, but my mother took care of that problem. She yelled "_Scourgify!_" and instantly the ash was gone. Mother was always good at those household spells.

I woke up at the crack of dawn on September 1st, a big smile on my face. This was the day I had been waiting for. I was finally going to school. Next to my bed were all my school things, piled neatly into two large crimson suitcases, each with a Hogwarts sticker on them. Artemis' cage was on top of the suitcases, and she was still snoozing contentedly on her perch.

I carefully chose my clothes out of my closet. I picked a red Polo shirt with two thick gray stripes and one black one, and a pair of blue jeans with faded knees. I went to the mirror and combed my hair and styled it with some gel. Then I rushed to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. It was right after I was done that I realized that I hadn't eaten breakfast yet.

Mother wasn't up yet, so I decided to make pancakes. I went to the cupboard, pulled out the mix, and turned on the stove. I was whistling and flipping pancakes when my mother glided down the stairs. She smiled and asked why I was up so early.

"I was too excited to sleep." I explained. "I kept waking up all night, waiting for it to be morning."

She smiled at me, and then asked,

"Do you have all your school supplies packed?"

"Yep."

"And you cleaned Artemis' cage?"

"Uh..." I stopped to think for a moment, "yep."

"Okay then. We'll eat, and then we have to grab a Portkey to King's Cross Station at 6."

I hurried and ate my slightly burnt food. Mother seemed almost upset, though. I figured that since she had no other children to keep her company, I must be leaving her pretty lonely. I felt bad, but I was still happy for myself. If only my father were here. He would keep her company. But Father was never coming back. And it was my fault.

About a month after I got attacked, my father just snapped. I guess it was due to the pressure of keeping my condition a secret from everyone. Friends, family, work, you name it, they didn't know. I guess it was just too much for him. So he snapped. He started yelling at Mother about how this was all her fault. She cried a lot. He was hitting her, hurting her. I couldn't take it, so I yelled at him to stop. That was when he turned from Mother and started to raise his hand to hit me. Mother couldn't take it. She couldn't let him hurt me, so she tried to stop him. Then he delivered an almighty blow to her head, causing her to collapse against a wall. I started crying, drawing his attention back to me. He gave me a beating I would never forget. Each time his hand came down against me, he would utter words like "freak". I can still hear those words today. After he was done, then he just left. Then I blacked out from a slight concussion. It was shortly after that I retreated to my room.

Mother and I arrived at the station an hour before the scheduled time. I stared around at everyone, wondering which ones were like me. With a few people it was a bit obvious, seeing as they had on muggle clothes gone wrong, and a few had owls like me. I noticed a few people trying to buy food with hubcap sized coins, and I tried to suppress a laugh. A few people who I figured were wizards were all grouped in a circle talking. With the adults were two boys my age. One had neatly combed black hair and light blue eyes, the other with messy black hair and chocolate colored eyes. By them I saw a chubby boy with blonde hair and blue eyes trying to approach the two cautiously. He had a look of increasing admiration on his face. It was funny.

Finally, 11o'clock came, and I bid my mother farewell as I mounted the train, grinning broadly. I walked through the tidy red carpeted hallways with increased enthusiasm. Every compartment I went in was completely full, except for the last one on the right. I stepped in cautiously, and observed the people inside. It was the two black haired boys, and the fidgety blonde one.

"Can I join you?" I asked nervously. "Every other compartment's full."

"Sure!" said one of the boys.

As the train moved on, we all became better acquainted. I told them my name and information like that, but not once did I mention my lycanthropy. I might have these people as my friends, and if they knew the truth, they might abandon me. That was the last thing I wanted.

"My name's James." Said the brown eyed boy.

"Sirius." Called the blue eyed one.

"P..Peter..." stuttered the blond haired boy, trembling.

So James, Peter, Sirius, and I spent our ride discussing things like our hobbies and what we did before we came here.

"I just spent my days riding my broomstick and playing Quidditch." Stated James proudly, ruffling his hair.

"My mum made me clean house pretty much every day." Grumbled Sirius.

"I went t..to a m...muggle school for a l...little while." Stammered Peter.

So on it went for the remainder of the trip. About an hour into the ride, the food lady came asking us if we wanted anything off the trolly. James bought a Pumpkin Pastry, Sirius bought some Every Flavor Beans, Peter bought 6 Jelly Slugs, and I bought a chocolate frog. I always was particularly attached to chocolate.


End file.
